Death and Rebirth

Money is currency, and currency is energy. In his book "Happy Money: The Japanese Art of Making Peace with Your Money," Ken Honda talks about the energy of money. He invites you to contemplate the idea that money is an intelligent living energy, as if money were a person. How would you speak to this person? How would you treat this person? What language are you using? 

Imagine if you tell a person, "You are evil, and people who have you are bad." Would that person want to be anywhere near you? Imagine if you criticize this person, "Why don't you ever come over? I'm always looking for you, you're never there. I want you but I hate you and I'm mad at you." Would that person be inclined to visit you more often? 

On the other hand, imagine if you told that person, "I love you, I'm so happy you're here. I have set up a comfortable place for you to land. I've prepared my whole life for your arrival and I'm just grateful you are here." Ken Honda elaborates further on establishing a healthy relationship with money just as if you would with a person, talking to it in loving ways, asking it, "What would you like me to do with you? Do you want to stay or are you ready to go somewhere else?" Non-grasping, and allowing the currency of money to flow in and out of your life freely. He also talks about the method in which money flows into your life. Did you force it or cheat for it to flow into your life? Did you have to manipulate it and lie for it to arrive? If you did, since it's an intelligent currency, like an intelligent person, it's going to eventually find out and leave you as fast as it can. 

He talks about being thankful even as you spend your money, even as you pay your taxes. Can you thank and bless the money that is leaving you and going towards tax payments? You say, "Arigato" (thank you) for visiting me. It was lovely having you, please come again soon.

I reference this incredible book because I want to express my deepest gratitude for the blessed money that arrived through my breast cancer GoFundMe campaign. Each and every person that donated, has spent this money not because they absolutely needed to, not because they saw an advertisement that said if you don't purchase this item, you will be less than everybody else for the rest of your life. They launched this currency into my life for the purest intentions, to merely support me because they care about my wellbeing and love me. They did not want or expect anything in return. Because of that, this money is blessed, regardless of the amount, whether it's one dollar or thousands. In fact, this money is more abundant and prosperous than millions of dollars that could have been accumulated in other forms, because each and every single penny in this fund is “love money”. This currency carries the energy, the frequency, of unconditional love. And since love is the most powerful energy there is in the entire Universe, I am supremely wealthy because of people’s kindness and generosity.

This journey has been incredibly healing. It is through my suffering from breast cancer and the brutal side effects of chemotherapy that has forced me to remain bedridden for extended periods, that I was able to break through. It forced me to look deep within all fragmented parts of me that needed integration, “union” is the english translation of the sanskrit word “yoga”, to united to bring together, all parts of you so you become whole. Union within you and union around you, with the Universe. I said it once and I'm going to say it again, I am grateful for this cancer and it might even be the best thing that ever happened to me. I have been able to shed and unshackle myself from the grip of old patterns stored deep within my psyche and let go of old coping mechanisms that have been hindering my light and my fullest expression. I was finally able to make sense and make peace with all the injustices that happened in my life, that I now have come to learn happened for the evolution of my soul. I've awakened to my sacred contracts with the Universe, the sacred contracts that each and every one of us have that help us grow through challenges and obstacles, in the same way that you need to pass a test at school to graduate to the next level. These sacred contracts are designed to awaken you to your shadow, the dark side that we all have, the wounded parts of you that you refuse to shed light on until a tremendous challenge or suffering forces you to do so. For example, if you have a wounded inner child, it can manifest in struggling with romantic relationships. That inner child will approach each relationship from the point of view that, "I want my partner to mother me or father me." The sacred contract will guarantee that that partner will keep kicking you out of the nest, forcing you to go through the process of empowerment, forgiveness, and learning to take care of yourself in the world. In other words, forcing your wounded inner child to become a fully actualized adult. Because if that partner mothered or fathered you, you will never grow up. They are under contract to play the role of someone that rejects you so you can transition into adulthood. Once you understand that, you will not only be able to forgive that partner but you will be grateful for them because they fulfilled their sacred contract with you in not nurturing you. Once you finally get that, you truly and finally break free from old patterns and repeating the same mistakes, meaning choosing unconscious mother or father figures as partners. You liberate that energy that has been consumed and even burnt-out in "I want that specific person or that specific thing, and if I don't get that I will never be happy" and you allow more of your natural light to flow back to you. Parts of you that were never able to be expressed and fulfilled begin to show up, more empowered parts of you, a stronger, more loving version of you. You begin to see clearly what is unfolding right in front of you, and live life in a way that flows more effortlessly. Not because you gained what you want but because you are living with a heart wide open. A heart that is grateful to the abundance of the Universe. 

Yes, I have cancer, and no matter how much I want it to go away, it has not yet, because it's a sacred contract that serves a purpose of helping me grow out of my own fears of abandonment and scarcity, and to help others around me grow into their full potential of love and compassion. Today, when I walk into any room, I see the brightest and most kind smiles on people’s faces as they look at me. I witness people lighting up like a Christmas tree when I am around or teaching a yoga class. I receive their warm hugs with the totality of my heart. The neighbors whom I never spoke to before my diagnosis are now taking out my trash every day. The guy who is always working on his loud engine car underneath my bedroom window not only stopped, but he’s the one helping me carry my grocery bags up to my apartment. The way people have rallied around me (some I don’t even know and have never met in my entire life) whether it's through financial donations, rides to chemotherapy, delivering meals to my home, or simply calling to check in to see if I need anything, makes me the wealthiest, happiest, and healthiest person alive. It is because of this cancer, this sacred contract, that I bring out benevolent and compassionate qualities in people. I serve humanity by allowing their love and generosity to come out and be expressed as I personally heal at the same time.

In a sense, this journey is a process of death and rebirth. Chemotherapy is literally killing all the cells in my body, both the cancer cells and the healthy cells, but because the body is so miraculously intelligent, new cells emerge, new hair grows, and a new life filled with pure potential begins. I am open to it all, embracing the experience and all the learning and wisdom that comes with it.

Sending you all lots of love and deep gratitude,

Maha