When Nothing Else Works
You Don't Need to Understand Why Everything Bad in Your Life Happened to Finally Find Peace
The Trap I Fell Into
I got into this work for selfish reasons: to heal myself. I became the yoga instructor I am today, leading, guiding, training and certifying aspiring yoga instructors. I reached the highest levels of education, earned certifications, and even created my own yoga school. I learned different healing methodologies, read everything from ancient scriptures like the Bhagavad Gita to modern books like The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck. I attended every seminar, traveled, and roamed the world, seeking shamans and wisdom teachers.
Here’s the truth no one will tell you.
I fell into the trap.
The trap that there is something out there that can fix me. That there is some magic remedy or technique that can make sense of my life.
The Business of Selling Hope
Our culture is really good at bottling a perceived solution and selling it to an aching population starving for answers, turning spirituality into a multi-billion-dollar business.
And I drank the Kool-Aid like everyone else.
If You’re Tired Too
I don’t know about you, but I am tired.
Not just my body, but my spirit.
Tired of hoping that if I keep doing the work, commit hard enough, work hard enough, practice yoga hard enough, one day it’ll all be okay.
If you can relate, let my words come close.
You do not have to fight yourself anymore.
You don’t have to fix yourself anymore.
You don’t have to understand everything, connect all the dots, and find every answer before you allow yourself to feel peace.
You Are Not a Problem to Be Solved
Don’t make a home out of your pain.
Don’t live in a self help workshop factory.
You can take a break from personal development and spiritual growth.
You are not a constant problem to be solved.
A puzzle to be figured out.
You are worthy of peace before everything in your life is perfect.
You don’t need to understand why everything bad in your life happened.
You don’t need to know all the answers to feel at ease.
It’s okay not to know.
No one will tell you this because they want to keep selling you imaginary solutions.
You Can Feel Peace in an Unfinished Life.
What yoga actually teaches.
True yoga never asks you to be perfect.
It never asks you to never be angry or never make a mistake.
You can feel peace in an unfinished life.
That is actually the simplest way to describe the present moment that every wisdom tradition emphasizes.
They speak about the present moment, not the complete moment.
Not the peak moment.
Not the magical moment.
Not the historical moment.
The moment right here, right now.
The in-between moment.
The unfinished moment.
The messy moment.
“Here” you can be real.
You don’t need to perform.
You don’t need to strive.
You don’t need to go anywhere.
“Here” is where the peace you’re looking for resides.
It’s not in the promotion you’re chasing.
It’s not in the income or the number in your bank account that will magically make everything perfect.
It’s not in the perfect weight or the perfect body.
Not in the perfect house or the perfect car.
The perfect friends.
The perfect number of children.
The perfect partner.
The perfect husband.
The perfect wife.
The perfect family.
The Endless Cycle of Wanting
It is human nature to want.
A person in a wheelchair wishes they could walk.
A person who can walk wishes they had a car.
A person with a car wishes they had a fancier car.
A person with a luxury car wishes they had a private plane.
A person with a private plane wishes they had a rocket ship.
It never ends.
And it is the perfect formula for misery and anxiety.
Comparison is the thief of joy.
You Were Meant to Read This
You are not reading this by accident.
The part of you that has always taken care of you and guided you, but that you’ve been too busy looking at other people for answers to notice...
That part of you, which in yoga is called the Anandamaya Kosha (the Bliss Body), brought you here.
It brought you here because you are ready to be held in a different way.
Held Instead of Fixed
Because something in you is ready to be held in a new way.
Not forced.
Not fixed.
Held.
Like cold hands around a warm cup.
Like soft rain on dry ground.
Like the quiet strength of roots beneath the earth, growing even when no one can see them.
You are still growing.
Even now.
Even here.
Even after everything.
You can trust the quiet work happening inside you that you may not even notice.
Yet it’s there.
In the same way your heart beats, your lungs breathe, and your eyes blink without you noticing or having to do anything about it.
Returning Home
So let this be the beginning.
Not the beginning of setting more intentions.
The beginning of returning to yourself with love.
For the Part of You That Is Tired
I know there may be a place inside you that has been waiting for relief.
That part of you does not need more big promises.
It does not need someone to tell it to breathe, be grateful, move on, stay positive, or do more healing work.
That place only needs you to say:
“I see how much this has taken from you, and you can rest now.”
Healing Doesn’t Need to Be Rushed
Maybe what hurts is not only what happened.
Maybe what hurts is that you’ve been alone with it for too long.
Maybe what hurts is the way you speak to yourself because you’re not already over it.
Maybe what hurts is the way your mind keeps returning to the same fear.
The same memory.
The same question.
The same empty place.
If this is true, please read this with your whole heart.
You are not failing because healing takes time.
You are not doing it wrong because some days feel heavy.
You are not behind because your heart needs more softness.
Your Body Is Always Asking One Question: Am I Safe?
You ARE a nervous system and a sensory system, constantly absorbing information through your lived experiences and the environment around you. Your body is always asking one question: Am I safe?
The nervous system does not heal because you have finally solved every problem or understood every painful memory. It heals through repeated experiences of safety.
Safety is felt before it is understood.
It is felt in a calm voice.
In warm eyes.
In slow breathing.
In a body that no longer has to brace for what might happen next.
From a somatic perspective, healing is not forcing yourself to think differently. It is giving your body enough moments of safety that it slowly learns it no longer has to live in survival.
Your nervous system is always listening.
Every gentle breath.
Every compassionate word.
Every moment you choose rest instead of pressure.
Every time you meet yourself with kindness instead of criticism.
These are not small things.
They are the very experiences that teach your body a new story.
Overtime, your muscles soften. Your breathing deepens. Your senses stop scanning every room for danger. Your body begins to understand something your mind has been trying to convince it of for years:
I Am Safe Now.
And when the body finally believes it is safe, healing begins to unfold naturally. Not because you forced it, but because your nervous system no longer has to spend all of its energy protecting you.
Thank the Part That Protected You
There may be a part of you that still expects life to be hard.
A part that holds its breath, waiting for the next problem.
The next loss.
The next disappointment.
The next reason to close down.
That part of you is not bad.
It is tired.
It learned to protect you.
It learned to watch the sky for storms.
It learned to prepare before anything even happened.
So we’re not going to shame that part.
We’re going to sit beside it.
We’re going to tell it:
“Thank you for trying to keep me safe.”
You do not have to work so hard right now.
Your mind does not have to solve the whole future.
Your heart does not have to carry every old feeling all the time.
Your body does not have to stay tense to prove it is prepared.
You Can Rest
You are allowed to stop chasing every answer.
You don’t have to solve your whole future.
You are allowed to place your heart on the shore of this present moment and rest.
Because when nothing else works, sometimes the next right thing is not another plan.
Not another promise.
Not another way to push yourself into becoming peaceful.
Fear and Peace Can Exist Together
You are allowed to listen to the loving energy inside you even if fear is still present.
They can coexist.
You don’t have to push away the fear.
You don’t have to argue with every thought.
You don’t have to battle every memory.
You do not have to prove that you are fearless before you deserve peace.
You don’t have to defeat fear.
You don’t even have to understand it.
If you see someone cold and shivering, do you have to understand why they are cold before handing them a warm blanket?
You are allowed to stop trying to fix everything.
You can breathe before fixing everything.
What Cancer Taught Me
The greatest peace I have ever known came while I was battling cancer.
The deepest serenity I have ever experienced was sitting in a chemotherapy chair with red poison dripping through the IV into my veins.
My life was far from perfect.
I didn’t have the answers.
I didn’t know what tomorrow would bring.
I didn’t know how long I would live.
I didn’t know if the treatment would work.
I didn’t have a source of income.
I didn’t know if I would be able to keep a roof over my head.
Yet I was in complete bliss.
Now that I am cancer-free and healed, I often try to return to that state, a place that no yoga class or meditation ever brought me.
I was in the present moment.
Complete surrender.
I never thought about what would happen even one minute or second later.
I didn’t know who would drive me home.
I didn’t know who would make me lunch.
I didn’t know who would do my laundry.
Yet there was a glow on my face that every nurse in the infusion center noticed and talked about.
There is a profound lesson there.
I do not have to understand everything before I can be kind to myself.
Or kind to others.
Finally…
May you be healthy. May you be happy. May you be at peace. The light and the goodness within me see and honor the light and goodness within you.
In other words - Namaste my friend.
Maha
P.S. If this resonated please share or repost on socials so it reaches the person who needs it.
